Are Face Masks and Bath Bombs Self-Love?

"Practicing self-love today! Taking a relaxing bubble bath, putting on a luxurious face mask, and drinking lots of water. Love yourself!"

But is that all?

While the various pampering rituals we as a society are constantly being inundated with have undoubtedly gotten me through many a difficult day and allowed me to feel rejuvenated once again, I can't help but question the heavy emphasis placed on physical self-care as the sole factor in practicing 'self-love'.

Self-love can mean a plethora of different things for different individuals, and while I am in no way refuting the idea that treating yourself and taking care of your body and your physical appearance is a form of self-love, I have been critical in dissecting my own personal practice of self-care and how to best nourish, not only my body, but also my mind and my soul.

Self-love may very well include eating well and taking yourself on a nice spa date, but for myself, it has also been a journey of introspection, reflection and forgiveness. And it has not been easy.

So, as a woman who is still actively trying (and struggling) to practice self-love on a daily basis, I have found the following rituals and habits to be very helpful to both my physical and mental well-being.

NOTE: Please keep in mind these are things I have personally found helpful, and will not necessarily be as beneficial for every single person. Everyone's journey and needs are different. By no means is this a checklist or roadmap to practicing self-love, but merely a few suggestions that have helped me.

1. Writing

As a writer, I'm sure this one comes as no surprise.

But writing as a form of therapy does not always have to be highly edited and polished, or in the form of poetry.

Keeping a journal or merely jotting down dot points can be highly effective in dispelling negative emotions and allowing yourself to move on effectively. I personally like to write an extended journal entry in my notes on my phone, documenting how I am feeling, any negativity I have experienced that day, how I wish to move forward and what I hope to achieve in the following days.

This simple habit has changed my mood drastically on a daily basis, allowing me to acknowledge, validate and understand my own emotions.

2. Appreciating My Body

While maintaining your physical well-being is very important, I also aim to reposition my mindset when it comes to my body. Instead of focusing on how my body looks, or what I do not like about it, something we have all been conditioned to do, I simply practice appreciating my body for its function.

I actively appreciate my arms for allowing me to lift and carry groceries, books, necessities.

I appreciate my legs for taking me from destination to destination every day.

I appreciate my eyes for allowing me to see.

I try to acknowledge and appreciate my body for the things that it allows me to do.

Being healthy and alive is something that I often take for granted, and my love for my body has benefited greatly from acknowledging how fortunate I am in my own skin and to appreciate what my body allows me to do, rather than what it is lacking.

3. Practicing Honest Communication

I have always associated honest communication with difficult conversations and dramatic confessions.

And while it may very well involve that, honest communication is not only limited to openly expressing to others how I feel when I am sad, but how I feel ALWAYS.

This post that I came across on the Instagram account @law.of.attraction1111 very accurately captures the approach I am, and would encourage others, to try and live by.

Source: @law.of.attraction1111

Rather than subscribing to passive aggressive methods, something I fell into during my teenage years, being honest about how I feel has liberated me in so many ways, allowing me to recognise the people in my life who are open to honest conversations and confrontation, as well as prompting me to let go of negativity when it arises.

4. Recognising Your Own Toxic Behaviour

This is a tough one. And one I honestly cannot give much advice on because it is such an individual experience. But for me, a crucial part of self-love has been examining my past trauma, and recognising how my own pain has manifested itself into my daily life.

It is understanding how your self-loathing informs the way you see the world and how you perceive and interact with others in your life. How I treat others is a reflection of myself. And it has been crucial for me to examine and hold myself accountable for my actions and projections.

There really is no easy or right way around this one. In my experience, therapy has been hugely beneficial, though equally painful.

Pulling up bitter memories from the past and being completely vulnerable in dissecting them and their impact on you is uncomfortable. But I have experienced so much growth as an individual and in my relationships as a result.

5. Be Kind To Yourself

Finally, my biggest pointer, and probably the one I struggle with most, is to be kind to yourself.

Going to therapy, confronting past trauma, recognising your own toxic behaviours; is all very hard work. Self-love is hard work. And it is a continuous journey. So go easy on yourself.

Forgiveness of others is extremely difficult, but forgiving yourself is just as important. There are many times when I hate myself for something I wish I had done differently, or I refuse to forgive myself for wronging someone else in the past.

But taking accountability for your actions does not mean loathing yourself for it.

Nowadays, I try to think of every mistake as a lesson. And while that might sound cheesy, this has been the healthiest way for me to move past an issue. I recognise my own toxic behaviours. I hold myself accountable. I apologise. And at the end of the day I remember, I fucked up, but now I am better because of it.

Self-love is HARD WORK.

Ultimately, practicing self-care is a very personal progression, and whatever form it may take for you, that is valid. There is no right way to taking care of yourself. So listen to your body and what it needs. Take a bath. Read a book. Go for a run.

These are all valid aspects of self-love. Just remember that, for some, you may do all those things and still not understand how to fully love yourself, despite all the pain you may still carry.

Loving yourself is not an easy journey. It takes time, difficult conversations and a lot of hard work. So just remember to be kind to yourself along the way.

Find me @_chelseahui on Instagram!